


The Crimes Of Christmas

by DCFanGuy



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 10:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCFanGuy/pseuds/DCFanGuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Christmas time in Gotham and our heroes have their work cut out for them. As the Joker breaks out some friends from both Arkham Asylum and Blackgate Prison, things soon become a little too hot to handle in the city.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gotham city at Christmas was a sight to behold. Unusual. Maybe even disturbing. It certainly didn’t help to make the city feel any less gothic than any other day of the year. Not to mention the fact that on this night, the actual heroes of the city had their work cut out with them trying to round a few undesirables that had been broken out of the places where they should be too.

The blond man stubbed out his cigarette and did up his trench coat, actually feeling the cold air and biting snow that was softly falling down outside, even though he had treated himself to a fine bottle of whiskey in a moderately classy bar about an hour ago. The same bar where both a woman and her husband seemed to like the cut of his accent a bit too much for his liking. Despite their insistence, he politely but firmly turned down their invitation for a “nightcap” citing that he had urgent business to attend to.

The funny part was that it wasn’t a lie. He really did have urgent business to attend and it was preferable to being a plaything for a rich couple who in different circumstances probably wouldn’t have given him the time of day.

He had received an urgent house call by a terrified woman the other day. Her sister was locked up in an asylum (one of the last places the blond man wanted to visit) but there was something locked inside her. Something which the owners of the particular asylum had no idea what to deal with and something that even a Dark Knight might have had trouble dealing with himself. 

It was however something that John Constantine, con man, petty dabbler and exorcist on the other hand could perfectly manage. It was the getting in and out bit of this particular asylum that bothered him. Then again, the majority of the criminals committed to this particular place seemed to have no problem with getting out, so John mused to himself that he shouldn’t have any problems with it either.

He managed to sneak in pretty well and stuck to the shadows and anywhere he was less likely to be caught on camera. He had been given the specific details of the woman’s cell and even managed to get there in time. He passed one cell where one man was babbling in riddles, one of which John managed to solve without thinking on it too much.

“Silence, mate,” John glanced at the man. He knew of him and the big glare the man now gave him indicated a mutual recognition.

“Have fun getting out of this maze, con man,” the Riddler sneered before turning away. Constantine chose to ignore him. “Our fun was a little short lived. Bah humbug.”

“Hush little baby, don’t say a word,” another man cooed, rocking away on a chair looking into deep space. It was enough to give John a chill down his spine. The man was known as the Scarecrow.

“Care for a card, dear boy?” another called out to him from a cell on his right. It was the Mad Hatter. Constantine knew that this man’s usual playing deck were far more malevolent than the innocent pack he was holding onto. “Solitaire is such a lonely game.”

Know the feeling, chump.

He glanced down another couple of cells and spotted a man, dressed in a smart white suit, at least half of it was. The second he saw the other side he recognised the inmate.

“Heads says you’ll be sharing a cell beside one of us,” Two Face glanced at him, flashing John a menacing smile while holding his coin.

“And what does ‘tails’ say?” John had to ask that question knowing damn well there wasn’t going to be an answer he’ll like in return.

“They’ll never find your body intact.”

“I haven’t got time for this,” John sneered at the locked up villain, descending down the hallways until he saw the cell in question. “Oh, here we go.”

The woman in question had been bound in a straightjacket and was screaming and convulsing like mad. John found himself disgusted at the ill treatment of the woman and also perplexed that no-one had been watching her cell. 

No wonder it’s easy to escape this bloody dump.

He had his tools and he hoped that he had more than enough time to perform this ritual and get the hell out of Arkham before one of Two-Face’s alarming prophecies had any kind of fruition to it. John set things up perfectly, making sure he was between the woman, her demon and the door and began to perform his ritual. The demon made it’s usual attempts of resistance, even managing to free the woman from her straightjacket and lung for John’s throat.

“Come on, mate, it’s bloody Christmas,” John said in a strangled voice, trying to release the demon’s grip from his throat. “Let the woman have a nice one, even if it is in a hellhole like this place.”

“Never,” the demon yelled but John wasn’t having any of it. With reluctance, he punched the woman in the stomach, enough for the demon to let go of his throat.

John received a backhand from the demon for punching the woman but he had regained the upper hand. Finishing the rest of his ritual, he pulled the demon from the woman. The woman went white as a sheet before hitting the ground. The demon tried to jump into John’s body but he moved away too quickly. It was beginning to lose it’s form. Without a body to jump into within a minute, the demon knew it was done for. It knew there was nowhere it could go but only one place. It began to break apart, looking at Constantine with horror and anger.

“I’ll see you in hell, Constantine,” the demon managed to rage before falling to the ground in a pile of ashes. 

“Not any time soon,” John retorted to himself. He checked on the woman, unconscious but alive and breathing. 

He swept up the demon dust, placing it into an urn, throwing it into his bag. He’d find a safer way of disposing of it but he knew one thing was for certain – he wasn’t leaving it here. This place was crawling with demons and ungodly things and he didn’t mean the inmates themselves.

It shouldn’t have but curiosity had gotten the better of him and he found himself doing the unwise thing of taking a detour from his escape and sneaking into the office of a man that by all means should be an inmate rather than analysing and caring for them. He had left his bag with his suppliers and demon ashes on a table while looking through some of the man’s files. One file in particular fascinated Constantine but mainly because it belonged to someone who didn’t merit having a file on them in one sense. Then again, the man in question would be any respective psychologist’s field day.

Constantine found himself too wrapped up in reading the file that he noticed too late something else happening. The man whose office he chose to sneak into had returned and before John could do anything, a rag was being clamped over his mouth. 

“Don’t struggle,” the man whispered in his ear. “You’ve already lost.”

John defied that order and struggled but it was too late as he could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness. His world became very black as he slumped to the ground.

John didn’t know how much time had passed, only that he was coming out of what seemed like a thick fog and into a situation he was only too familiar with.

“Wakey, wakey, pretty boy,” Hugo Strange smiled at him. It was one of the most disturbing smiles as the mad doctor gently slapped him across the face to get his attention.

Constantine would’ve responded but he soon realised that he was handcuffed to a chair while gagged with a large thick white cloth. He was in no position to say or do anything as he realised he was still in Strange’s office. The man stood over him, enjoying the position of power a little too much for Constantine’s liking.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” Hugo mused aloud in a condescending tone as John struggled with his cuffs. He soon realised that they were going to pose a problem for him. “Don’t bother, Mr Constantine, they’re magical. No chance of you getting out of them unless I choose to take them off.”

My reputation precedes me then. John looked at Hugo as though he was grinning underneath the gag that had been placed over his mouth. Strange chose to ignore it.

“Most people spend their time, the inmates especially trying to get out of here,” Strange said in a curt, matter of fact way. “You’re one of the rare people who actually break into the place. You should’ve listened to Two Face.”

John gave him a dubious look as he attempted to free himself. Even if the cuffs were magical, he still had to try and break out of them. Hugo picked up on this.

“Struggle all you like in those, it won’t do you any good, my friend,” Strange smiled, gloating. “You’re quite the handsome fella but you’re better kept bound and gagged too, at least for now.”

John responded by giving him a look of pure contempt. Hugo smiled, stroking Constantine’s chin, forcing him to make eye contact. It was though Strange was trying to remind John who held all the power between the two of them. Hugo then let go and turned away from John.

“I saw your little magic act,” Strange sneered and his condescending tone alone only angered John. “That demon falling to ashes on the ground? I was quite impressed.”

Can’t say the same about you, you freakish tosser.

“You won’t quite be sharing a cell across from the likes of Two Face and I daren’t put you anywhere near Miss Isley as well,” Strange continued. “The combination of you and her, I dread to think. No, I think I have a much better idea in mind for you.”

Hugo had turned around, this time holding a syringe and this only made John more determined to free himself as Strange drew closer and closer to him.

“Someone like you has a mind worth exploring,” Hugo whispered in an unsettling way. “If I can get you to be somewhat more receptive to my will, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Truthfully, it would be an ownership, Mr Constantine. After all, you would be in my permanent care.”

Think again, mate.

As Hugo got that one step too close, John was able to kick the man into the stomach, sending him stumbling back a few paces, knocking the syringe out of his hand. The look on Hugo’s face became instant rage. He raised his fist to strike him and as John thought he was about to receive a smack, another figure was now in the room, the window behind Strange opened as the figure now held a tight grip on Strange’s hand. It was a face that Constantine was admittedly happy to see as he managed to free himself from the handcuffs binding him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Batman replied calmly, a calmness that worried Strange a little.

“How the hell did you get in here?” Hugo gasped, struggling in Batman’s grip.

“Intruder window, mate,” Constantine interrupted, removing the gag from his mouth.

The cloth clung to his neck as he curled up his fist and delivered an almighty smack to Strange’s face, sending the man falling to the ground as Batman released his grip from Hugo’s hand. He looked at Batman who gave him a neutral look. “He had that coming.”

“Let that be the only thing he has coming tonight,” Batman said, “It’s time you were leaving, John.”

“No Christmas kiss?” John smirked, removing the cloth from his neck. Batman didn’t look too impressed. “Okay, suit yourself.”

As Hugo attempted to rise, John had other idea and performed a little magic. The last thing either Constantine or Batman needed was Strange raising the alarm.

“And sleep.”

Hugo fell to the ground in a heap and John picked up his bag with the urn containing demon ashes in it. Batman gave him a little look of disapproval.

“Considering what he had planned for me, I think he’s getting off easy,” John shrugged. “I assume you’ve got the motor nearby?”

“Why?” Batman raised an eyebrow. 

“Could do with a lift,” John flashed a cheeky smile. “I’ve got demon ashes to get rid of and it’s a long way back to my hotel and a bottle with my name on it chilling in the fridge.”

“Just this once,” Batman replied and for a moment, Constantine almost detected a smile. “You’re on my way. I have one more matter to attend.”

“No rest for the wicked,” Constantine smirked as the both of them jumped out of the window with John being forced to hold onto the Dark Knight until they reached the Batmobile. “Not even on bloody Christmas.”


	2. Chapter 2

She had received a call but not from the one she had wanted to be contacted by. Still, a party was a party and on this Christmas night where several maniacs were on the loose and in need of rounding up, who was she to refuse a chance to catch up with some of the familiar faces. The caller was standing on the roof with a slight look of impatience on her face. This only amused the cat burglar.

“I’m not going to lie, little bat,” Catwoman smiled at the costumed hero standing opposed to her. “You weren’t exactly who I was expecting to come party with tonight.”

“You weren’t my first choice either,” Batgirl smiled, her comment though sarcastic had a trace of affection behind it too. “But sometimes it helps to have another girl around.”

“Could’ve called Batwoman,” Catwoman retorted. Batgirl tensed a little. There was a little rivalry of sorts between the two Bat ladies. Catwoman didn’t mean to stir but at the same time, the invitation from the former Oracle was interesting though. “So what are we dealing with?”

“”You wanna take a look down below,” Batgirl pointed and soon, Catwoman could see exactly why she was summoned instead of anyone else. 

“Of course.”

“This sister act again,” Batgirl said, her eyes focused on the targets in question.

The two criminals that were getting her attention were of course Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. In former lives, both women were brilliant doctors and scientists but this one, they were also two of Gotham’s deadly of criminals and together, they were even more dangerous. In the building they were spying on, both Batgirl and Catwoman could see that Harley and Ivy had taken over a gentleman’s club once again. A mixture of older and slightly younger men, half of them were bound by the vines Ivy had used while the rest were either scrambling for the exit (which was also covered in vines making escape impossible) or being forced at gunpoint to have over their worldly goods.

“You kind of have to admire their friendship in a way,” Catwoman mused. She was working on the perfect way to strike, wanting there to be a total element of surprise.

“I’d admire it a lot more if the two of them weren’t a menace to the city,” Batgirl bristled. She too wanted to make the perfect strike. “Enough of this.”

Before Catwoman could say anything else, Batgirl made the first move. She crashed through the skylight and descended into the middle of the room.

“A gentlemen’s club?” Batgirl said, making her presence known. “Haven’t you two already done this?”

“Oh, great, it’s the other one,” Ivy tutted in disapproval.

“It’s Christmas,” Harley said, her hand clamped over one of the gentleman’s mouth. “Always a good time to revisit a classic or two.”

“I was kind of hoping for the Big Bad Bat himself,” Ivy said, keeping her focus on Batgirl. “Not one of his many sidekicks.”

“Well, Mista J would’ve made sure he was busy, now wouldn’t he?” Harley smiled before smacking the man whom she was robbing. It was then that Catwoman finally made a move and crashed into the room as well.

“Sorry girls, but this is my area of expertise,” Catwoman smirked, striking Harley across the face and grabbing her loot. Although it went against her usual instincts she handed the loot back to the robbed men. “And you ladies don’t have the talent for it.”

“Just what we need, a reformed kitty cat,” Harley sneered in annoyance. She aimed her pop gun with the intention of getting Catwoman right into the face but Catwoman moved faster and quicker and the pop gun was yanked out of her hand by her whip.

“I was thinking of upgrading,” Catwoman smirked, admiring the pop gun before throwing a look at Harley. “Thanks, Harley, you really shouldn’t have.”

“Give that back!” Harley snapped, sounding like a spoiled child. Ivy looked a little sympathetic at her petulance.

“I don’t think so,” Catwoman replied, keeping a tight hold on the gun.

“You two are no fun,” Ivy said disapprovingly, before eyeing Batgirl. “You I understand but I expected better from you, Catwoman. How about you ditch the girl and come with us? We can be the queens of Gotham as we rightfully should be.”

“Yeah, join the winning team, Cat lady,” Harley smirked, before eyeing Batgirl disapprovingly. “Ditch the amateur.”

“I’ll have to decline the invite, sorry,” Catwoman said with a certain coyness, as though the offer was a tempting one.

“The only queens you’re going to be are the ones in Arkham,” Batgirl said, hearing the sirens of police coming. “Close but not close enough.”

“There’s always next time,” Ivy said with annoyance as the door was busted down. “And there will be one, little girl.”

“Looking forward to it,” Batgirl said. Ivy attempted to make a move to escape, but Batgirl pushed her back, making sure she couldn’t leave. Catwoman kept the pop gun pointing at both Harley and Ivy.

Before either Ivy or Harley could try anything, Commissioner Gordon had arrived with both Bullock and Montoya in tow and too many cops for either her or Harley to outwit.

“You’re going back to where you belong ladies,” Bullock said in a way that even made Catwoman and Batgirl wince. “Cuff ‘em.”

“We can’t thank you enough, Batgirl,” Commissioner Gordon said, though Batgirl did not give him too much eye contact.

“It’s my job, Commissioner,” Batgirl replied, sounding modest before looking at Catwoman. “But it’s not just me you have to thank.”

“That’s my cue to leave,” Catwoman smiled before throwing her whip into the air and quickly climbing out of there. 

“Hey, somebody stop her,” Montoya called out but Selina turned back to say one more thing before departing for good.

“Call this my Christmas gift to you all.”

The last thing Catwoman wanted was to be sharing a cell in Arkham with Ivy and Harley or to have the police thank her. The night was still hot (even with the snow falling down) and there were more criminals and escapades to be had on this Christmas Eve.

“Catwoman,” Batgirl called out in frustration but it did no good. She was going to go up but knew that by the time she did, the cat burglar would’ve been gone.

“She can’t run from the law forever,” Commissioner Gordon said, but it sounded more philosophical than an actual determination to catch her.

She can certainly try though. She might even succeed.

Batgirl was left holding the can as both Ivy and Harley were escorted into two seperate cars. As she watched for a bit and Catwoman watched from a further distance, at least one of the arrested members of the sister act would make her escape as the other one did not fare as lucky and was escorted back to her special cell in Arkham Asylum. The other one fled into the night of Christmas, on the hunt for her other and far more dangerous partner in crime.


	3. Chapter 3

This night was turning out to be more of a disaster than he thought it would be. A couple of hours, some of the inmates from Arkham Asylum and even one or two “deserving” candidates from Blackgate prison were released, courtesy of a benevolent clown. Anyone who knew this clown knew full well that he was anything but benevolent. 

The family had split into different groups, realising their only chance of getting most of the criminals sent back into their rightful places was to seperate and team up at different points, depending on the villain in question and other things that may come to hand.

Nightwing had decided that after teaming up with Red Hood and Robin in taking down both the Riddler and Two Face (Batwoman herself had managed to get the Scarecrow and Mad Hatter only a half hour prior), that he could help Batman track down the Joker by paying someone a visit. He chose to go through the back entrance of this person’s particular sanctuary.

The person in question, donning the unconvincing role of being “reformed” and owning a “legitimate business” was far from happy to see him. It might have been because Nightwing knew his presence was a minor disruption in this person’s attempts of getting everything prepared for a Polar themed Christmas party or just because Nightwing interrupted the man’s fish supper. He didn’t really much care either. He just wanted some answers and would be on his way. The man however was less than enthused with being forthcoming with answers.

“You know more than you’re letting on, Oswald,” Nightwing said, leaning a little too close to Penguin than he should’ve done. For a man who was supposed to be refined, he certainly had some bad fish breath at the moment.

“Just because you’ve grown into a different costume, bird boy,” the Penguin said between mouthfuls of fish and the odd slug of wine from a goblet looking at least a century or two old. “Doesn’t mean I don’t still see you for the snot nosed brat you are, lad.”

“And just because you like to play the role of refined businessman,” Nightwing retorted. “Doesn’t mean that anyone else buys it for a moment. Where is he, Penguin?”

“How the hell should I know?” the Penguin said defensively, rising from his seat. Nightwing wasn’t intimidated by the man but he did move a step or two back.

“The Joker throwing a Christmas party for all of Gotham to see and you know nothing?” Nightwing pointed out. “You and the rest of these criminals might see me as a little kid, but even back then I wouldn’t believe your ignorance. Why would I now?”

“You’re starting to annoy me, boy wonder,” the Penguin snarled, his hand clutching the first umbrella he could grasp. “I suggest you leave.”

“Tell me what you know and I’ll happily be on my way,” Nightwing said, trying to reach for one of his staffs.

“Better yet,” the Penguin snarled, raising his umbrella. “I’ll tell you nothing and you can just leave.”

Before Nightwing could reach his staff, the Penguin raised his umbrella towards the crime fighter’s face. In mere seconds, gas came out of the tip and Nightwing wasn’t quick enough to protect himself. He fell to the floor in an unconscious heap.

It was then another man came in from the back, letting the biting cold also in with as he kept the door opened. Penguin could just about see him from the shadows but knew exactly whom he was talking to.

“Take care of this, will you?” Penguin said, using his umbrella to point at Nightwing’s unconscious body. “I have a party to arrange.”

“It would be my absolute pleasure,” the man smiled thinly, tilting his head, staring at Nightwing. He had a million ideas pop up in his head about how he could take care of this guy.

Dragging Nightwing out of the club, the man threw the hero into the boot of his car, tightly restrained before closing the boot and driving away. The man was named Victor Zsasz and with a member of Batman’s family in his possession, it was as though his Christmases had come at once.

Oswald’s head soon came into contact with the fountain that he had in his nightclub. For at least an hour since getting rid of one feathered pest, the other two had made their entrance into his Christmas party and things quickly went to hell. His useless security men were either bested by the duo or had decided to fly the coop in fear of them. Oswald made a note than one of his New Year’s resolutions was going to be to hire tougher staff. Batman inspiring fear he could understand but not Robin or Red Hood/Arkham Knight, even if the latter was extremely volatile and currently responsible for using his head to play bobbing for apples.

“One more time, fish breath,” Red Hood sneered as he pulled Oswald’s head out of the fountain. “Where the hell is Nightwing?”

“How the hell should I know?” Oswald lied. It was pointless. They knew he was lying and unless Victor decided to come back within the next minute or two, he was going to have surrender than information to one of them. Red Hood put him under the water again.

The remaining guests at this party had either fled the place or were watching in morbid fascination. Oswald knew that those ones were probably hoping that Red Hood kept him under the water just a bit longer. Especially the ones that Oswald had to blackmail into attending the party.

“Red Hood!” Robin exclaimed, trying to play peacemaker. “He’s not gonna tell us a thing if you keep dunking him underwater like that.”

“Listen to him,” Oswald spluttered, his head pulled back from the water. Red Hood was about to do it again, until Robin stepped in, broke Hood’s grip off him. Hood gave him a look that probably could be described as fury. Concealment or not, Oswald didn’t need much to tell his reaction.

“You better have a plan, kiddo,” Red Hood said and in that moment, Robin slammed Oswald against an ice sculpture, his elbow around his throat.

“Right now, I’m the only thing standing between you and imminent death,” Robin said angrily, his grip tightening around Oswald’s throat. “Red Hood doesn’t need much. He’ll kill you just for the fun of it but if you want to live for another Christmas and salvage your disaster of a party, you’ll tell us where Nightwing is and you’ll do it now. I’ll know if you’re lying, Penguin.”

“Zsasz,” Oswald croaked, trying to get the words out.

“What’s that?” Red Hood asked, with Robin taking the hint to loosen his grip on Oswald’s throat. “Speak up, Ozzie.”

“Zsasz has him,” Oswald managed to get out, his rage and embarrassment palpable. 

“Where?” Robin and Red Hood asked in unison.

“Old storage facility near the docks,” Oswald said, rubbing his throat and as both Red Hood and Robin were about to leave, he couldn’t resist one last jab. “If you get there in time, I’m sure you can find what’s left of him.”

Oswald didn’t get to see who threw the punch that sent him flying back into the fountain. It happened too quickly but it hurt like hell and caused him to bleed. If he was lucky, Victor might just kill at least one of the feathered pests and if he was even luckier, tonight’s debacle would not result in his business being closed down either. This was one Christmas Oswald wished would end soon. He could only dread to think what the Joker actually had in store for the city.

Nightwing could feel himself coming around. His hands had been tightly chained and were hanging above his head while his feet also chained were also above the ground. The strip of tape that had been used to keep him quiet had been yanked off with a ferocity he was surprised his lips didn’t come with it. The man standing over him with a surgical saw smiled enough to truly give him the creeps.

“So glad you’re awake, Nightwing,” Victor Zsasz smiled, patting him on the chest. “I always like when they scream.”

“You’re not going to like me very much then,” Nightwing hissed in defiance, struggling with his bonds. “I don’t scream easily.”

“No, I imagine I’ll like you even more,” Victor replied, still smiling. He went towards the chains and pulled on them to raise Nightwing slightly higher. “When you do break, it’ll actually mean more than the ones who gave in before I even got to cutting them. Your resistance is futile but I can work with it. I’m good at working with things.”

Victor circled around him now, still holding onto the saw, now with both hands. He bended it a little before brushing the non sharp bit around Nightwing’s lower back and torso as though he was deciding where to start. It was though Victor saw him as a Christmas turkey. Victor was going to savour this, trying to make him sweat. Nightwing refused to give even that to Zsasz.

Before Zsasz could make a move, the storage door to his hideaway received one hell of a kicking in and standing before him were two men whose presence did more to amuse him than strike fear.

“Ah, now this really is Christmas,” Zsasz smirked as both Red Hood and Robin were now standing in front of him. “You probably think you’re both going to rescue your strung up predecessor here.”

“No thinking about it,” Red Hood said, his voice even but both Nightwing and Robin could tell he was truly desperation to let loose on Zsasz. “But please, make it as hard as you like. I won’t get easy either.”

“Fascinating,” Zsasz smiled and Nightwing used the moment that Victor wasn’t looking at him to properly strike.

Mustering up the strength, he raised his bound feet to give Zsasz an almighty kick into the back, knocking the surgical saw out of his hand but sending him towards Red Hood. Despite Nightwing being the one to strike him, Zsasz took his rage and annoyance at the surprise strike and channelled it towards fighting. Robin also used this as a chance to help Nightwing get freed.

“Nearly done,” Robin said, snapping the chains that were holding Nightwing upright. He fell to the floor and Robin went to free his hands.

Zsasz made an attempt of striking out at Robin, pulling a knife from his jacket that he had managed to strike Red Hood’s right arm at least twice but Robin gave him a back kick into the stomach while Red Hood grabbed the serial killer by the back of the neck and tackled him to the floor, pinning him there.

“Go easy, Hood,” Nightwing warned, his legs free. Both him and Robin gave Hood a concerned look.

“It’s alright, this scum will get to see another Christmas,” Red Hood replied with a tone of irritation as he began to tie Zsasz’s hands behind his back. He then dragged Victor up off the ground. Zsasz looked more amused than deflated.

“Win some, lose some,” Zsasz said, his tone almost earnest. “Next Christmas though, I’ll pluck three birds. And one of the Bats. I’ll have a whole year to decide.”

“Where you’re going, you’ll have other things to occupy your mind, you mass murdering scumbag,” Red Hood growled, his grip tightening on Zsasz’s neck as he dragged him out of the storage facility with Nightwing and Robin following in tow.

It wasn’t long before Gordon and his men and a heavily secured police van were taking Zsasz back to Blackgate. Nightwing thanked both Robin and Red Hood for rescuing him with the latter showing some grudging gratitude before deciding to find somewhere else to spend his time on Christmas Eve. There were still more criminals to round up but there was also a magic show to behold as well.


	4. Chapter 4

Magic was a wonderful and also a dangerous thing to behold and no-one knew that better than Zatanna Zatara. Throughout her years as a magician, she had seen the worst and best of it but this was a night that should’ve gone off without a hitch but had she chosen the wrong time to be in Gotham or maybe it was the right time. She wasn’t sure.

The night had started off well enough. The theatre in which she was performing her acts with a young willing man from the audience were packed out by some of Gotham’s rich and wealthy and the proceeds were going to go to a cancer ward and even the magic tricks themselves (a tiny glimpse of what her actual abilities were) had been going down a storm. It was then that Zatanna got a feeling and it was one she couldn’t shake off, no matter how hard she tried to.

Things were going too well and then all of a sudden, they began to go to hell pretty fast. She should’ve picked up on something when some members at the back of the audience seemed to be looking up rather than at her tricks and then she saw it.

“What the hell is a doll doing here?” Zatanna asked, watching the tiny figure practically descend gracefully from the ceiling skylight, dressed as an angel. “That’s not part of my act.”

“Greetings everyone, I am sent from the heavenly above,” Baby Doll smiled, looking completely innocent, before pulling out a ray gun from behind her wings and then a bag. “I’ll be part of your robbery this evening. Now hand over the goods.”

The audience began to raise their hands and delve into their pockets when the little doll then shot a hole into the wall.

I don’t think so.

Zatanna knew she needed to act and fast but before she could, her assistant suddenly began to change. His skin was coming apart, looking like dirt.

“Horatio, no,” Zatanna gasped, realising too late that both the Doll wasn’t alone and that her assistant was actually someone far worse.

“Can’t have you spoiling the main act, sweetheart,” Clayface smirked. “Your parlour tricks were only the warm up act.”

“Then I’ll show you what I can really do,” Zatanna screamed, knowing that she had no choice but to invoke something a lot darker if she stood a chance of getting out of there alive as well as the people who were now being threatened by a living Doll.

“Can’t let you do, baby,” Clayface smiled, knowing well what she was intending to do.

He threw some of his dirt, enough to cover Zatanna’s face. She fell to the floor, first screaming and then trying to slowly pull the stuff off her face before it hardened and suffocated her altogether. Clayface.

“The mighty Zatanna Zatara,” Clayface laughed. “Defeated by me. Hurry up with the loot, baby. There are other places we can hit while the Bat’s distracted.”

“What makes you think he’s not going to come after us?”Baby Doll asked, the bag filling up with more jewellery, watches and cash than she could care. “This better be a 50/50 split.”

“I said it would, didn’t I?” Clayface snapped, before glancing at Zatanna. “She hasn’t got long left.”

“Longer than you,” Zatanna screamed. The face mask hardened but it shattered and Zatanna had a look of determination on her face. 

“I guess I’ll have to do this the old fashioned way,” Clayface replied, stretching out his arm. He grabbed Zatanna by the throat, raising her up to near the skylight where Baby Doll had descended from him, slowly but surely choking the life out of her.

The grip he had on Zatanna prevented her from making any audible sounds so her hopes of using magic against Clayface were beginning to weaken. She kicked at his hardened arm as hard as she could while trying desperately to use her fingers to pry his grip from her throat. He was going to kill her in a matter of moments and even the audience themselves looked worried for her.

“I guess we finally found an escape act you can’t master, huh?” Baby Doll sneered at Zatanna. 

“She’ll be dead soon enough,” Clayface said, before looking at Zatanna. “I always thought magic acts were a bit dated. At least I’m here to give these schmucks a real performance.”

Like your acting career, you big ham.

Zatanna knew she had to do something pretty fast, otherwise he really was going to snuff her out. Instead of using her hands to pry his off her, she then decided to touch his hardened arm, closed her eyes and hoped this would work. If it didn’t, she was done for.

“Time for you to feel the heat, Clayface,” Zatanna managed to call out and upon touching his arms, Clayface screamed as though her touch were as hot as lava.

Zatanna crashed to the ground. Baby Doll seemed to be conflicted between finishing her looting or to attack but Clayface had no such conflict. He raised arm, shaping it like an axe.

“We’ll see how powerful you are when you’re split in half, magic girl,” Clayface snarled, moments from striking her. Now Zatanna made her next move and one that Clayface should’ve seen coming.

Touching the bottom of his thighs, Clayface began to freeze. He tried to change his form, but whatever spell that Zatanna had cast was taking effect too quickly for him to properly do anything. Clayface tried to say something, no doubt a threat for revenge but before anything could come out of his mouth, he was little more than an ice sculpture. The spell would only last a few hours but hopefully that would be long enough for Gotham City Police Department to keep him stored somewhere safe. Then there was his accomplice to take care of.

“Oh damn,” Baby Doll squealed, realising the attention was now on her. She pulled one shiny ruby ring from the bag but before she could make another step, Zatanna also froze her on the spot. The audience didn’t know whether to clap or scream. Zatanna decided she needed to break the ice.

“And thank you to my lovely assistants,” Zatanna smiled, trying to make light of the fact that both Clayface and Baby Doll couldn’t move a muscle and that people now had a better idea of what she could really do. “Shame they went a bit off script. Merry Christmas, everyone.”

Zatanna took a bow and while everyone else was reclaiming the possessions that both Baby Doll and Clayface attempting to take from them, the police and other armed forces had arrived on the spot. Zatanna took this as her cue to leave and managed to disappear out of there before the detective named Bullock could even spot her.

Dr Leslie Thompkins had hoped to attend Zatanna Zatara’s magic show earlier in the evening. Unfortunately for Leslie, she had become involved in a magic act of her own when a harlequin had broken into her home and taken her somewhere else.

It hadn’t taken Zatanna too long to go back to her room and reclaim her things but when she did, someone else was waiting for her instead. She smiled as he stood by her window, letting the cold in.

“Caught your show tonight,” Batman said. His tone was tense, though Zatanna could tell that it wasn’t directed specifically at her. “Final act was a bit of a chilly one.”

“There’s a reason why I usually prefer not to have assistants,” Zatanna smiled, zipping up the last of her bags. “Clayface will remember that if he’s smart.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about it,” Batman mused. He could hear footsteps. “You know they’ll want to talk to you.”

“And I’d really love to have that conversation,” Zatanna replied sarcastically, knowing that Bullock and at least two other cops were getting closer to her room. “But I have a train to catch and an old friend of yours to catch up with. He says ’hi’ by the way.”

“Tell him the same,” Batman said coolly. Zatanna smiled before walking over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Merry Christmas,” Zatanna said warmly. “Next time we’ll catch up properly.”

Batman didn’t get the chance to say it back before Zatanna disappeared with her bags before his very eyes. As Harvey Bullock and the two cops accompanying him managed to kick down the door of Zatanna’s hotel room, Batman too had managed to make himself scarce. He had a clown to catch but first there was someone who needed his help and it wasn’t someone he much cared to help. Even his sense of Christmas spirit was limited concerning this particular person.


	5. Chapter 5

She took the plunge. She always did and only sometimes, did she slightly regret it. He had made it sound tempting. It really wasn’t.

“When I was hoping for a hot and exciting time in a cold, Christmas Gotham,” Catwoman muttered, disapproving of the location she had been told to meet Batman in. “This was not what I had in mind.”

They were in the sewers and like above, it was cold, wet and freezing. Unlike most of above, it smelled terrible. Batman almost seemed a little amused by her obvious disdain for this particular rendezvous.

“I got a source this is where he took her,” Batman said. He had a flashlight as the two of them walked through the water. Catwoman was already regretting answering his call. She was going to spend most of Christmas morning trying to her suit clean. She imagined that he would too.

“Remind me again as to why we’re trying to save this particular person?” Catwoman raised an eyebrow and also her nose, trying her best not to smell too much of their current location as possible. 

“Call it ‘getting into the festive spirit’,” Batman said shortly, as though he was trying to convince himself as well as to why the person in question deserved his help.

“I’d rather just let Croc eat her,” Catwoman smirked, before noting the disapproving look on Batman’s face. “Lighten up, will you? We’ll get her.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Batman admitted as the two of them went down one particular corner.

They had barely taken two steps between them and already they could see a cage hanging over a couple of feet from them. The woman in question was there, alive and doing her damndest to free herself when she wasn’t screaming for help. 

“You know we could always turn around. I can think of better things to do than rescue that awful woman,” Catwoman joked again, observing the woman’s own determination to free herself when she wasn’t screaming like a banshee for help. “She might even get to the surface before he comes back.”

“Don’t think I’m not tempted,” Batman said coolly, his mind made up. He was going to do the right thing. “She might be awful but Amanda Waller still needs our help.”

“Don’t expect a Christmas card out of it,” Catwoman muttered under her breath. She still had the option to leave but with Killer Croc being nowhere in sight, she realised it was probably better for two of them to be there to get Waller when Croc inevitably showed up.

“I’ll just be happy if I make this Christmas without either her or Strange trying to lock me up,” Batman replied in a matter of fact.

Before they could take another step, Killer Croc emerged from the deepest waters of the sewers underneath Waller’s cage. It didn’t take him or Waller long to notice that they had company.

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” Amanda Waller said, not as someone who was grateful to be rescued but someone who sounded less than impressed.

“So the Batman finally came then?” Killer Croc snapped, baring his teeth, before looking at Catwoman. “And he brought an appetiser. How delicious.”

“So much for the element of surprise,” Catwoman moaned, before she whispered softly. “You take him. I’ll get her.”

“Good luck,” Batman managed to say before Killer Croc started to charge towards him. Catwoman managed to use her whip to grip onto something quickly enough before he could grab at her.

“I was hoping for a three course meal this Christmas,” Croc snarled, his hand gripping Batman’s throat. “The Kitty Kat for a starter, Waller for mains and you for dessert.”

“You’ll have to settle for your greens instead,” Batman managed to quip before kicking Croc in the chest. This only infuriated the monster before he slammed Batman against a corner.

“You’ll be a ripped to pieces bat this Christmas night,” Croc snarled, the hatred brimming in his eyes.

“No-one’s dying tonight, Croc,” Batman replied. “And that includes me.”

Catwoman meanwhile had managed to get closer to Waller’s cage. In fact she had managed to get on top of the cage but before she decided to free someone whom she didn’t believe deserved it, she wanted to have a little fun first.

“What are you waiting for?” Waller growled impatiently as Catwoman began to climb around the bars, holding on for dear life. “Get me out of here now!”

Catwoman thought of a clever retort but had to hold on for dear life as Batman and Killer Croc doing battle with each other saw the latter and his tail brush against the cage, shaking the thing. For a moment, Catwoman could see Waller losing a little of her usual control composure. As though it dawned on Amanda that Croc could actually succeed and she could very well end up becoming a main course. 

“Open the cage before he kills me!” Amanda shouted, trying to regain some kind of authority in a situation where she had none. Now this definitely amused Catwoman.

“This must be a new experience for you,” Catwoman smiled, circling the lock on the cage with her claws. “For once you’re the one in a cage and we’re the ones who decide your fate. It’s the one thing myself, Batman and even Croc have in common. You should probably think about that, Amanda.”

“I said open the damn cage, Miss Kyle,” Amanda snarled, her hands grabbing the bars and her face near enough for Selina to scratch if the mood took her. “I don’t beg.”

One wrong word, Waller. Just the one and you’ll wish it was Croc dealing with you right now.

“And I don’t submit,” Catwoman smirked, beginning to work her magic on the lock. It took mere seconds before the sound of the cage opened. “But seeing as it’s Christmas, you’re free to go.”

Amanda gave Selina a look of pure contempt before the latter used her whip to help her cross over to a surface that wasn’t covered in sewerage. 

“What, no ‘thank you’?” Catwoman asked her, feigning hurt. “Try to do a good deed.”

“You both have a five minute head start when my men come,” Waller smiled, looking at Catwoman. “If both you and Batman are still around by then, you’ll both be spending many Christmases in my custody.”

Batman had managed to find some way of restraining Croc and it hadn’t been long before Waller’s people had also descended into the sewers to find her waiting with Croc as Batman and Catwoman stayed in the background. 

“We’ll be on our way, Amanda,” Batman replied from the shadows. She only gave him a look of disdain in response. “We kept our promise, you keep yours.”

They were there long enough for their presence to be acknowledged but also in a way to make their own escape in case Amanda decided to take them in too. 

Amanda grimaced with annoyance as Croc was being airlifted out of the sewers before her and placed into a security van even he couldn’t break out of. Batman and Catwoman watched from a faraway rooftop as Waller was then escorted back onto the surface. 

They could see her trying to spot them but before she could, both of them had disappeared. Catwoman needed a change of costume and Batman was getting closer to finding the Joker and hopefully closer to this Christmas night finally ending too.

Lucius Fox had finished up at Wayne Enterprises for the night. He had thought about walking home. What he hadn’t considered was that someone was following him, determined to make sure that he took another route instead.


	6. Chapter 6

The docks of Gotham City had been the perfect place to get some weapons from one criminal mastermind to another. The other criminal had hired himself some muscle who knew her way with a blade. However what the other criminal hadn’t anticipated on was that another had shown up to the docks and they too were an expert with the blade.

“Cut her to pieces,” Black Mask pounded his fists on the desk. Lady Shiva gave him a look that indicated she’d rather cut him in half first but before either of them could say another word, Shiva took her leave and went after the young woman whose abilities came close to matching her.

The docks looked beautiful covered in snow and Shiva anticipated a match – a fun one. Her opponent was something of a true warrior and in a way, Shiva held more respect for the young woman than she did for her current employer or the strange old man with the ugly looking puppet she also wanted to use for fire wood.

“Come out, come out, Katana,” Shiva called, watching down along the docks, her blade scratching the snowy ground. She could feel the woman wasn’t too far away. She knew the woman was also trying to decide the right moment to strike. Shiva would be prepared, no matter what corner the other woman would strike from.

And then Katana made her move, almost catching Shiva by surprise. With both swords raised, the women had declared war on each other as another figure from high above went in for the kill elsewhere.

“Maybe if we’re lucky, those two broads will kill each other,” Scarface snarled as his puppet, Arnold Whesker looked like he was going to sweat himself thin. 

“I don’t know, boss,” Whesker managed to get out nervously. “They’re both reputable warriors. I’d almost rather our chances with the bat to be honest.” 

“Get a load of the puppet talking about these two dames being ‘reputable’,” Scarface scoffed, before turning to Black Mask. “Anyways, enough dawdling Masky, show us the goods.”

“It’s Black Mask, you two bit Punch and Judy act,” Black Mask growled in annoyance. “Feast your eyes on these, puppet.”

Black Mask’s men opened up a large case of weaponry and for a moment, both Whesker and Scarface looked suitably impressed. Then Black Mask closed the case and his men retreated to the shadows.

“My money,” Black Mask demanded. “Then you can walk out of here with the weapons.”

“There’s been a change of plan,” Scarface said, his tone taking a dark turn. Whesker looked even more nervous than before as Scarface’s men emerged for the shadows. There was no money to be had.

“Boss!” Whesker begged. “You promised!”

“Quiet you!” Scarface snapped before turning his focus back to Black Mask. “Promises are meant to be broken.”

“Yes, they are,” Black Mask conceded, his men also emerging from the shadows. It seemed neither villain had the intention of doing things honourably tonight.

“It’s nothing personal,” Scarface continued. His men raised their guns.

“Agreed. Just business,” Black Mask smiled as his men too raised their guns. A bloodbath was imminent. 

And then someone else landed on the table. The shadow of a bat but not the Batman or even the one who called herself Batgirl. It was the other one before either Black Mask or Ventriloquist and Scarface could make a move, both received kicks to the stomach that sent them stumbling back a few paces. The woman with dark red hair and skin as pale as a vampire smiled.

“Not interrupting anything, am I boys?” Batwoman smiled, before stepping off the table and looking around. Both Scarface and Black Mask were not pleased to see her.

“It’s the other Bat broad,” Scarface hissed, elbowing Whesker in the chest. “Get me up, you fool!”

“Yes boss!” Arnold said nervously, slowly rising from the ground. Black Mask did the same.

“Imagine you three all working together,” Batwoman said, eyeing the case of weapons. “It’s a good thing I happened to be in the neighbourhood.”

“Yeah, well you’re about to become fish food,” Black Mask screamed at Batwoman before turning to his men. “Kill her!”

“Damn!” Batwoman said before Black Mask’s men raised their guns, their aim perfect. Not one to be upstaged however was Scarface who motioned his men into action.

“Bring me her mask,” Scarface shouted and now Batwoman found herself caught in the middle of a firing squad. There was only one thing she could do to make this almost into a fair fight.

Pulling out one of her own batarangs and looking above, she needed to get her aim just right. She threw the batarang and in moments, the smallest shards of glass began to fall like rain. She had killed the lights but that didn’t stop the bullets from flying.

Outside, both Katana and Lady Shiva had been going at it with everything either woman could deliver. At one point, Shiva had managed to graze the side of Katana’s right arm but the latter had repaid the former the favour by slightly slicing her lower back. Shiva hissed in pain and for a moment stumble but Katana knew well enough that the last thing her opponent would do would be to surrender.

“You really are an incredible fighter, Tatsu,” Shiva said, hissing in pain before somehow managing to knock both Katana off her feet and her soul taker out of her hand.

Shiva aimed her own sword at Katana’s throat while standing on her fighting hand to prevent her from retrieving her weapon. She had the upper hand but more importantly she wanted Katana to really know that.

“I really should just kill you right here and be done with it,” Shiva smiled, pushing the blade closer to Katana’s throat, until a little drop of blood drew. The tiniest drop.

“Then why don’t you?” Katana hissed in anger, almost certain that death was imminent. Maybe Shiva would use her own sword against her instead of using the one aimed at her throat.

“Because it’s Christmas,” Shiva smirked, before a loud commotion caught her attention. She glanced over to see three familiar figures coming out of a corner. “And because there are a fewer worthy kills for your precious blade. My gift to you.”

Shiva jumped off Katana’s throat, grabbing her blade and deliberately pushing past Black Mask, smiling as he hit the ground. As Shiva fled into the night, any hope of Katana chasing after her became remote when Batwoman also emerged out of the corner. Katana noticed that with one hand, Batwoman was dangling Scarface upside down while with the other, she had raised Arnold Whesker up off his feet. The man looked as though he was going to pass out with terror. Black Mask was about to use Batwoman’s distraction to pick up a metal bar and strike her from behind but she managed to get there first, striking him from behind with the handle of her sword. As Black mask fell to the ground in a heap, Batwoman tilted her head to see that she wasn’t alone.

“How long have you been here?” Batwoman asked. She was pleased to see Katana who stood there looking rather stoic.

“Long enough,” Katana said quickly. “Is he any closer to finding the clown?”

“Close enough,” Batwoman replied, before addressing both Ventriloquist. “As for you two, Arkham’s got a lovely cell waiting for one of you at least. The other deserve a wood chipper.”

“That’s a relief,” Arnold said nervously before actually passing out in Batwoman’s grip.

“Dummy!” Scarface muttered under his breath.

Within moments the GCPD came to collect Black Mask, Ventriloquist, Scarface as well as their unconscious and tied up men as well. Batwoman didn’t stick around for thanks and similarly, Katana also fled into the night determined to make Lady Shiva regret her moment of mercy. 

Elsewhere a certain escaped woman had reunited with her Puddin’. After Black Mask and Scarface had been brought to their respective homes, Commissioner Gordon found himself being grabbed from behind as did Renee Montoya and Harvey Bullock. As they were thrown into a van and taken away.

Now the fun was really beginning. There were only a few more members to add to the party list, whether they liked it or not. There was one in particular the Joker had in mind and he was going to get him directly. After all, he loved a challenge.


	7. Chapter 7

She had been waiting for her all night, worried. She always worried when she was gone too long but at the moment, she had a bigger concern when the door of her home was kicked down and some uninvited guests had made themselves welcome.

Maggie Sawyer was grabbed in her home by some of the Clown Prince of Crime’s men. She had managed to put up a fight and left Batwoman enough of a clue to let her know that she had been taken. Batwoman came close to contacting one of her allies but as soon as she did, she realised that he was otherwise engaged. She’d need to find someone else to help her.

An ice rink seemed like the most on the nose of places for Nightwing to finally catch up with Mr Freeze but at the same time, the criminal wasn’t known for his subtlety either. 

The place was nearly dark and quiet, save for some colourful lighting and the soft sound of Christmas music in the background.

“You’re either braver or more stupid than you look, boy,” Mr Freeze said, his voice near enough to be heard clearly but Nightwing still couldn’t make out where exactly he was calling out from.

The further he walked down the corner and nearer to the actual rink himself, the more nervous he felt. This was the second time tonight he had gone it alone. The first time he ended up being gassed by the Penguin and nearly skewered by Zsasz. Mr Freeze would probably just settle for turning him into an ice sculpture but it was a fate he was determined to avoid.

“Let’s stick with braver, shall we?” Nightwing said, trying not to sound nervous. He held onto his staffs just that bit tighter. “Come on, let’s not delay the inevitable here.”

“You might be right, Nightwing,” Mr Freeze smiled, his voice sounding chilling as he aimed his gun. “Then again.”

Red Hood and Robin had met up with Batwoman and she realised that Maggie Sawyer had been taken. Catwoman had heard through the grapevine about Lucius Fox and Leslie Thompkins also being snatched while Batgirl was having a hard time contacting Commissioner Gordon, Renee Montoya and even Harvey Bullock. Batman had gone back to Arkham for some clues and Nightwing knew that Catwoman had slowly followed him in case things had gone awry. No-one needed to be told that the disappearances were down to the Joker and Harley Quinn. She had managed to escape police custody while her friend Poison Ivy was back in Arkham Asylum. Right now though, all Nightwing had to do was find Freeze, avoid the cold and get some answers.

“You know his plans, don’t you?” Nightwing asked, glancing at every corner to see if he could spot Freeze. “All of you do. The last few hours have been a stalling act, haven’t they?”

“If that what makes you happy to believe, boy wonder,” Mr Freeze replied coolly. “I just hope your little bat friend doesn’t get her wings singed by Firefly. He’s a bit too hot for my company.”

“You really do like the cold, don’t you, Victor?” Nightwing stopped in one corner. He raised one of his staff to his face. “I suppose then it’s only right that Joker’s left you and the rest of them out of the cold.”

“Ice puns aren’t clever, bird boy,” Mr Freeze said, impatience in his voice. “Hold your tongue.”

“Neither are bird puns,” Nightwing counted. “But it isn’t the ice puns that annoy you. You’ve heard worse ones, Freeze. It’s the fact that you and the rest of the Gotham criminal underworld have allowed yourself to be used and upstaged by a clown.”

Instead of a response there was silent. Nightwing had struck a nerve. Maybe he could strike another one.

“No comeback?” Nightwing asked, his voice gloating. “You know what, I’m bored. Why bother rounding you up when I should just go to the real party? See ya, Victor.”

Then it happened. The very thing Nightwing had hoped for. After this, he was going to need some new staffs but it would be worth it, provided his aim was right.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Mr Freeze shouted. He had finally emerged from the shadows and before he could turn Nightwing into an ice sculpture, the latter had other ideas.

He dropped onto the cold ice, smacking his chin and fired one of his staffs at the freeze ray gun. The tip of the staff managed to get inside the gun, jamming it and causing it to explode in Freeze’s. Victor screamed in horror, dropping the gun down. Nightwing used the distraction to charge straight into Mr Freeze kicking him straight into the face and sending him flying outside the rink where a few cops had also been waiting for him. It seemed that Mr Freeze had managed to scare the people using the rink into actually calling the cops on him. As Nightwing watched them take Freeze away, he knew he needed to find Batgirl. 

In the air at the moment, he thought he could see a bat like creature flying past the moon. It wasn’t Batman or Batgirl or even Batwoman, though he soon realised he had missed a message from the latter. It might have been ManBat but he couldn’t tell for sure. Right now, he needed to find Batgirl. 

Batgirl had crashed into the clock tower with a powerful kick from her opponent. Firefly was proving to be a lot trickier to deal with than she had hoped and he was certainly aware of the fact that he posed a challenge too.

“You’re really starting to annoy me now,” Batgirl hissed but she got up and was preparing herself to take him down. Firefly had a clear shot at her and aimed his gun accordingly. 

“Don’t worry, you won’t be around much longer,” Firefly said as he tightened his grip.

“I was going to say the same about you,” Batgirl fired back.

“Let’s see if bats roast on an open fire as well as chestnuts, shall we?” Firefly smiled.

“Not this Christmas night, pal,” Batgirl said, determined to stay alive.

Batgirl moved out of the way in time before she could be set alight by Firefly but he was quick to aim again and to fire at her. She needed to take him down and fast. She found something that would prove helpful in that regard.

A set of chains had been inside the tower and she was soon swinging them like a lasso, determined to get a clear shot at Firefly. She managed to belt him in the chest.

“Didn’t see that coming, did you?” Batgirl replied with glee, making Firefly madder because of it.

“You only get one of those, Batgirl,” Firefly said. This time he was determined not to miss. “Time to feel the heat.”

Then something else happened. Before Firefly could make good on his promise to incinerate Batgirl, he received a message and then so did she. His was from one of the Joker’s minions while hers was from Robin. Both of them gave the other a look indicating they got the same message.

“Looks like there’s a hotter party to attend to this Christmas night,” Firefly smirked before descending into the air and flying away.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Batgirl muttered to herself, following him. After all, they were heading to the same destination even if they would be on different sides.

At Wayne Manor, the last guest for the party was nowhere to be found as the place was searched from top to bottom. This was not going to go down well with the big man and it was up to her to tell him about it.

“I’m telling ya, Mista J,” Harley Quinn shouted down the phone, her nerves being replaced with irritation. She loved her man, she really did but there were times when she’d happily throw him in front of a speeding car as well. This was nearly becoming one of those times. “The boys searched every part of the damn manor. He ain’t here. All who is Jeeves and he can’t talk right now.”

Harley turned over to see that a bound and gagged Alfred Pennyworth was struggling in the grip of one of the heavies while some of the others had helped themselves to some readily available things to steal. 

Harley listened to her man shout down the phone one more time before he hung up. He was pissed. For a funny guy, he had quite a temper when things didn’t exactly going to plan but she had no choice in the matter. She turned to the captive butler, grabbing him by his tie and forcing him to look at her.

“I guess you’ll have to do, Alfie,” Harley smiled. He looked at her in disgust before she planted a kiss on his forehead. “Let’s get outta here, boys.”

Alfred struggled as the strongman threw him over his back and Harley herself skipped like a child while two other henchmen took bags worth of antiques and nick nacks as they took their leave of Wayne Manor. She looked at her watch as Alfred was bundled into the trunk of her car.

Only one more to get. Hope he knows what he’s doing.

As Harley Quinn drove off with her men and Bruce Wayne’s most loyal of alliances in her captivity, the Joker himself had played the waiting game. He had waited until the coast was clear and emerged from the shadows. The man whom he had come for was coming around and was horrified to see him.

“Hello Hugo,” the Joker smiled and by doing that, Hugo Strange gasped in horror. “Looking for me?”


	8. Chapter 8

Hugo Strange’s first instinct was to press the alarm he had installed on the wall to bring in security but the Joker had been faster and a few seconds later, a squirt of acid from the flower he was wearing soon put a stop to Strange’s idea of trying to get help.

“What do you want?” Hugo asked. He tried to hide his terror but he couldn’t and the Joker knew that all too well. He loved it. “You already got out and took some of your friends with you.”

“But I didn’t get everyone, Hugo old boy,” the Joker smiled and it was the creepiest thing Hugo ever saw. The Joker was something that was truly terrifying to behold. “You see I’m having a bit of a Christmas party and all of Gotham’s naughty and nice are invited.”

“And?”

“That means you too,” the Joker growled, grabbing Hugo by the shoulders and before Strange really could call out for help, the two of them skydived out of the window but the Joker grabbed onto the rope ladder of a helicopter that flew conveniently enough. Hugo had no choice but to hold on for dear life and to fear the horror that awaited him. It didn’t matter what list he might have been on, Hugo didn’t imagine that being either naughty or nice was going to make much of a difference in whatever the Joker was planning.

Batman had returned to Wayne Manor, Catwoman not far behind him. In fact when he turned his head, her arm was already on his shoulder as both of them looked at the state of the place.

“How long have you been there?” Batman asked, glancing at her for a moment. A note had been left. Gong by the writing, he could tell it was from Harley Quinn.

Dear Brucey

Got ya butler.

Was meant ta be you but you were a no show.

Come get him if ya can.

“Long enough to see you drop pretty boy off to his hotel before coming back here,” Catwoman said, snatching the letter out of his hand. “Harley certainly has a way with words. Where could they be?”

“The Joker won’t waste too long telling us,” Batman said grimly. “He had this whole thing planned from the start.”

“No, really?” Catwoman scoffed. This wasn’t a time where being flippant was appreciated as the look on Batman’s face indicated.

Before Batman could say anything, he got a message from Nightwing. It was a few simple words. Batman ran out of the house and Catwoman quickly followed him. It took them a couple of minutes before they found the Joker and Harley Quinn. They had back up but so did Batman and Catwoman as Nightwing, Batwoman, Red Hood and Robin made themselves visible in the crowd. Batgirl was nowhere to be seen yet.

“Hello Batsy,” the Joker shouted from the stage he was standing on. He was on a stage as was the largest Christmas tree in Gotham City and was Harley Quinn holding a gun towards a cameraman with the Joker’s face a little too close to the camera before glancing back at Batman. “I was really hoping you’d show up to my Christmas party. I pulled out all the stops to get you here.”

“You have my attention, clown,” Batman said stoically. He stood in the middle of the crowd that seemed to part so there was a straight line between him and the stage. The Joker was literally inviting him to come up. Catwoman was by his side.

“Of course I do,” the Joker laughed and Batman noticed that he was wearing a cheap looking Santa hat with his usual attire. Harley was dressed in a dark red dress with white fur at the top, accompanied by a simple black mask along with black boots and gloves. “I’m taking over tonight from the lovely Miss Vale. She’s a bit dangled at the moment if you get my drift.”

Batman didn’t need to get his drift. The terrified cameraman, Jack Ryder was then forced at gunpoint by Harley Quinn to point at a large Christmas tree in the middle of the city. The Joker was making this a live event. On the tree with a string of Christmas light wires, Vicki was bound spread-eagled but it wasn’t just her of course.

Batman managed to get enough of a glimpse where he saw some familiar faces. Alfred was there as was Commissioner Gordon, Montoya, Bullock, Maggie Sawyer, Dr Thompkins, Lucius Fox and Hugo Strange. There was also less savoury types – lower level thugs, a few corrupt bankers and lawyers as well. All of them bound in similar ways, some of them gagged with baubles shoved in their mouths and others simply unconscious. There were arranged carefully on the tree, no-one near enough to someone to help them and vice versa. Some of them chose not to struggle in their restraints, especially the ones bound at a larger height but the likes of Hugo Strange did however.

“You have to free us from this maniac!” Hugo screamed at Batman.

“You’re responsible for this maniac,” Bullock grimaced as he struggled in his bonds. “If you can’t even keep him under lock and key in that place, what’s the point of you?”

“Maniac?” the Joker scoffed, before throwing a bauble and smacking Strange in the forehead. “Oh you can do better than that, can’t you?”

“You’re probably one of the few people we’d be better off not saving,” Catwoman retorted.

“Ha, even Cat Lady knows you’re a lost cause, Hugo,” Harley smirked, before pointing at Ryder. “Keep the camera on my man, bozo.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack stuttered nervously.

“What is it you want, Joker?” Batman asked, making a move closer towards the stage.

“You of course, Batsy,” the Joker smiled. “This whole night has been about you. Why do you think I freed Ivy and Croc or got Baby Doll and Clayface to work together or even Scarface and Black Mask to distract some of your allies? I needed time for this – my ultimate work. Gotham’s biggest list of who’s naughty and who’s nice. I did want Bruce Wayne but the spoiled playboy didn’t have the manners to be around for the holidays so I guess his lousy butler will have to do.”

“Let them go,” Batman replied. Some of the hostages that had been unconscious were starting to come around and panic over what was happening to them.

“I don’t think so, Batbreath,” the Joker smiled again before looking at his watch. “We just have one more guest and then this party can really hot up. Oh, look, now he’s here.”

Batman and Catwoman looked into the air and flying over the Christmas tree itself was of course Firefly, clearly awaiting further instructions.

“Here’s how this goes, everyone at home,” the Joker at the camera before looking back at Batman and Catwoman. He was also standing near a lever. “I push this here.”

The Joker pushed the lever and slowly the tree began to rotate. The Joker then looked at Firefly. The latter knew what was coming. He was ready to make his mark.

“Sure, gonna be a hot night this Christmas,” Firefly quipped and it was appreciated by no-one, including the Joker.

“I don’t pay you for jokes,” the Joker said, before glancing at an advancing Batman and Catwoman. “Now let’s really get this party started.”

It was in that moment the crowd started to attack both Batman and Catwoman as they got closer and closer to the stage. The Joker seemed giddy with excitement, pushing the lever a little further to speed up the fire. Nightwing and Red Hood began to defend from one side while Robin and Batwoman took another. The Joker’s men were decked out as festive elves/clowns and had a variety of weapons at their disposal to use. Batwoman managed to dodge getting smacked in the back of the head with a mace before sending her assailant crashing into two other would be attackers. Like Batman and Batgirl, she had people she loved to save from that tree.

Firefly came close to setting the spark before Batgirl managed to come out of nowhere and sending him crashing into the building nearby. It took everything in her power not to yell ‘Dad’ as she could see her father near the top of the tree spinning round and round. Before the Joker could pull the lever even further, Batman had finally managed to get to the stage with Catwoman and Batwoman not too far behind.

“Get to them,” Batgirl shouted, looking in Batwoman’s general direction.

“On it,” Batwoman said, kicking another two assailants out of the way as Catwoman helped her onto the stage. Nightwing, Red Hood and Robin continued to fight the majority of Joker’s men still standing, stopping them from getting up on the stage every much as they were being stopped from doing so.

“Oh look the cavalry finally do something useful,” the Joker smirked as Batman drew the first punch. The Joker managed to dodge it. He also grabbed a crow bar and smacked Batman in the stomach. “You didn’t think it’d be that easy, Batsy?”

Batman retaliated with a punch to the Joker’s face. Before the Joker could say anything else, he was grabbed and thrown through the window of the same building that Batgirl was now fighting Firefly in. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Batman said darkly, jumping into the building. At the very least he was going to keep the Joker away from the lever.

“Get back before I splatter this guy’s brains out,” Harley snapped, her gun aimed at Jack Ryder’s temple.

“Oh God,” Jack managed to moan but Catwoman seemed unconcerned about his well being. Instead she fired her whip narrowly missing his face but getting Harley right between the eyes.

“Ow!” Harley cried out and Jack used the moment to elbow her into the ribs before fleeing the stage.

Before Harley could turn her focus onto getting Jack back or shooting him, Catwoman used the whip again to snatch the gun out of Harley’s hands. Harley looked at her with rage.

“That’s twice tonight you’ve done that, kitty cat. No more!”

“Then try and stop me,” Catwoman shouted, daring Harley to make a move but she had other idea.

“I have a better idea,” Harley smiled and before Catwoman could stop her with the whip, Harley managed to grab it and pulled Catwoman towards, punching the cat burglar when she made direct contact/

Harley pulled the lever and now the Christmas tree was violently beginning to spin out of control. Worse than that, it was starting to come loose from the very thing that had been holding it down and the Christmas lights that were being used to keep the hostages bound to the tree looked like they were going to catch fire.

“Holy shit!” Catwoman yelled amongst the terrified screams and muffles of those bound to the tree. 

Nightwing, Robin and Red Hood knew they had to stop it from moving and with Harley pouncing on Catwoman and sending her crashing through another window of the building and Batman and Batgirl nowhere to be seen, it was up to them and Batwoman to save the night.

Batman didn’t know which room he had landed in exactly but it didn’t make a difference. There was loud, obnoxious Christmas music being played and the first thing he was greeted with was the Joker’s crowbar smacking into the back of his head. He was lucky it hadn’t cracked his head in the process.

“Keep up, Batsy,” the Joker smiled maniacally, moving as to a dance beat while twirling the crowbar like a baton. “It’s only you and me this Christmas.”

Another smack with the crowbar. This time around his lower back. Batman grunted in pain but did his damndest to keep his composure. Upstairs a few flights he could swear he could hear Batgirl and Firefly going at it and nearer to him, the same with Catwoman and Harley Quinn. 

“This was all for you, old pal,” the Joker smiled getting another hit in. This time he had used it to knock Batman off his feet and onto the ground with a hard thud. “Now what do you say? Best Christmas ever?”

“Not even close,” Batman grunted in pain.

“Oh well,” the Joker scoffed, before raising the crowbar above his head. He was aiming for a killer blow. “I’m having fun and that’s all that matters. One more for the road?”

As the sound of Christmas music became more and more intense and the Joker was moments away from making the killer blow, Batman knew he had to get up. It took the remaining strength he had to stand on his feet and to the Joker’s shock, grab his wrist and squeeze it until the crowbar wrenched out of his hand.

“Not this Christmas, Joker,” Batman growled and before the Clown Prince of Crime could do anything else, Batman punched him twice.

“Something I did?” the Joker just about managed to say before adding, “bah humbug.”

The Joker slumped into Batman’s arms. Upon spotting where the music was coming from, a batarang soon put paid to it. It was time for this Christmas night to come to an end.

Outside, Batgirl and Catwoman had dragged out a bound and gagged Firefly and Harley Quinn, handing them over to the GCPD. The hostages had been freed and were being checked over by the medics that had also arrived. Batman could see Commissioner Gordon and dragged the Joker, his hands cuffed tightly behind his back over to Gordon.

“Special present, commissioner,” Batman said to Gordon and in that moment from the corner of his eye he could see Hugo Strange being looked over by the medic. 

“Back to Arkham for you,” Gordon said gruffly, keeping a firm hold on the Joker, who was just beginning to come around properly.

“Does no-one in this city have a sense of humour anymore?” the Joker asked groggily, feigning offence, before shooting Batman a smile. “Same time next year, Batman?”

Batman gave him a withering look in response. The Joker then shot a glance at Hugo Strange before being escorted into a heavily secured police van along with Harley, Firefly and some of his men that hadn’t ran off. 

“I guess you’ll have to do for some fun for a while,” the Joker smiled at Hugo and he could see that the professor was both angry and afraid of him. Those were two things the Joker could have a lot of fun with as he cackled with laughter before the van door closed tightly on him and his comrades. He had his fun, caused some chaos and scared the hell out of a few deserving people. Anything after that would be a little sprinkle on his dessert.

Batman went back to Wayne Manor where Robin, Nightwing, Red Hood and even Catwoman had made an effort to fix the place up. Batgirl would’ve gone back to see her father as Barbara Gordon while Batwoman would’ve checked in on both Montoya and comforted Maggie. He’d have to check in on Leslie and Lucius in the morning but as he pulled his cowl off upon entering the Batcave, Christmas Eve had been and gone and Christmas morning was coming into it’s own.

At a platform, Zatanna had stepped off and found herself in Metropolis and also staring at the sight of a familiar face that she was more than happy to see. The docks in Gotham had one boat that had chosen to sail to somewhere that Katana did not know. The one thing she did know was that Lady Shiva was on board and she was determined to get some answers, once and for all. 

In their lair in a far away location and managing to access the camera in Gotham city on the Christmas night, Ras Al Ghul along with his daughter had witnessed the Joker’s latest antics and Batman’s efforts into stopping them with his allies. Bane stood silent in the background and Ras could see that the brute wanted a rematch with the Caped Crusader in the near future. Talia would also want one but a far different one to the one that Bane no doubt had in mind.

At the Iceberg Lounge, the Penguin and the remaining staff that had either not abandoned him or were easily coerced into obeying him were helping with cleaning up the club while Victor Zsasz was kept in a heavily guarded cell in Blackgate along with Firefly in another one.

John Constantine had drunk and smoked quite a bit as he was perched on the balcony of the window of the hotel room he was staying in, letting the snow and cold gently hit him from time to time. He had managed to get rid of the demon ashes and had even caught up with that couple that had propositioned him earlier on but it was his own company he needed more and quickly left them afterwards. He finished his bottle while watching Batman and his allies round up the Joker.

Back at Arkham Asylum, Hugo Strange had stayed in his office, almost too scared to show his face. He had been bested too many times tonight – by a conman, a vigilante and a madman and it was the one in the middle who had caused him the most humiliation and anger. He vowed that by the end of the next year, the vigilante would be under his permanent care and suffer every humiliation possible. That would be his ultimate Christmas gift.

The Joker and Harley Quinn had been returned to Arkham Asylum and were kept as far away from each other as possible. Even behind bars once again, the Joker had a song in his heart and began singing badly to the top of his lungs his own twisted version of ‘Jingle Bells’. It annoyed everyone within earshot but the Joker did not care one iota. Tonight had been too much fun for him even if he had landed back in Arkham.

Outside his back yard, Batman was now Bruce Wayne and from the corner of his eye, Catwoman was now Selina Kyle. Neither said anything to each other but once Bruce turned to face Selina, the inevitable happened.

Merry Christmas everyone!


End file.
